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These nights have not been long, they’re timeless,
Stretching out over past, present, future.

I draw the quilt over my head to shut out
Darkness, demons and all forms of life.

Falling into
Nights of induced half-sleep with
Covers over head and heat
Forming a womb-like enclosure in which
To dream vividly of matters too great (and obscure)
To speak of in detail.

Waking takes hours in “real time” and
A lifetime to my mind, yet it still occurs
As sunlight flows in
Subdued to a warm red glow by the curtains.

I press and inspect my arms,
Startled to find something as tangible as flesh
After spending so long
In a world I’m part of but cannot touch.
The reverse of the daytime realm which
I can touch but
Play no part in.
©2004-2009 ~NotEntirelyMe
:iconnotentirelyme:

Author's Comments

This stems from the past few nights and a comment i made in relation to someone else poem.
[link]

I wasn't sure about the catagory so if you think it would fit in better elsewhere please say.

Comments


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:iconi-conn:
Some of this is wonderful, some great imagery, "Forming a womb-like enclosure" yet I feel that parts are a lil cliched, the first four lines.

--
I'm not here to be original, i'm here to rock around the clock 24/7 dudes.
:iconozymandias-:
The poem didn't really flow for me, it seemed more like a bunch of lines (albeit good lines :)) just placed haphazardly together, with no concern for metre.

But the lines, they were good. ;)

:)
:iconakashka:
you know what ? Congratulations, you just shut me up ! :lol: this is a fav, i love it, time, ... it is so touchag=ble in your poem. Yes it is a fav.

--
Enter the realm...
:iconnotentirelyme:
Thank you.
I'm very touched.
:iconnotentirelyme:
I might play around with the structure or take out various parts and see if I can develop them into something else.
Thank you for your insight; appreciated as always.
:iconnotentirelyme:
Thanks. I think I can see your point. Will play around and see how it developes.
:iconi-conn:
good good

--
I'm not here to be original, i'm here to rock around the clock 24/7 dudes.
:iconneodave:
I think it's cool...kinda hints at things I've been feeling too recently...I personally like the structure too, it flows quite well.

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May 23, 2004
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